When First Lady-to-be Mary Lincoln arrived in Washington, twenty-something Harriet Lane was enjoying a hugely popular tenure as de facto First Lady. Her social leadership was as successful as her Uncle James Buchanan’s political administration was a flop. She had been very popular and was considered a hard act to follow.
Mary Lincoln Makes Enemies
It wasn’t enough that many people believed that Kentucky bred-Illinois wed Mary Todd Lincoln was a Southern sympathizer, or perhaps an actual spy (she wasn’t). Most society women considered her a “western woman of low taste.” Further believing that she was as humbly born as Lincoln (she wasn’t that either), a contingent of somewhat smarmy Congressional wives paid a call on her prior to the inauguration to offer their “assistance” in helping her over the societal shoals, as it were. Smarmy yes, but they meant no harm. Mary, however, was offended at their suggestion that she wasn’t up to snuff, and let them know it. The “advisory committee” left in a huff, and seldom if ever attended her receptions. They were content to host their own lavish salons and chitchat away about the First Lady.
Mary Todd Lincoln Makes A Major Enemy
Kate Chase was the cultured and sophisticated twentyish daughter of Treasury Secretary Salmon P. Chase. She was everything Mary was not: young, tall, slender, pretty, cosmopolitan, rich and very smart. Perhaps too smart.
The first time she met Mrs. Lincoln, shortly after the inauguration, the First Lady greeted her pleasantly and invited Kate to call again. Kate then committed the supreme gaffe by insinuating that Mary would be welcome to call on her. Kate knew better – and so did Mary. First Ladies only receive; they do not pay calls. Kate Chase was presumptuous, and immediately took first place at the top of Mrs. Lincoln’s antipathy list.
Salmon P Chase was a former Governor or Ohio, and had had a decade of political leadership as an ardent abolitionist. Thrice widowed to pretty women who died very young, he was happy to lavish his affections and considerable wealth on his daughter. She was thrilled to take an important role as his escort and hostess. Her salons were attended by the crème of society. Chase desperately wanted to be President, and even as a cabinet minister, plotted to head the Republican ticket in 1864. Kate was determined to further that goal with every social skill she possessed. That alone was enough to antagonize Mrs. Lincoln.
In early 1862, the Lincoln’s 12-year-old son died, and Mary went into deep mourning. In addition, the proprieties of mourning were strict, and for the rest of that year, Mrs. Lincoln’s role as society leader was on hold. Kate Chase was delighted to pick up that slack, and the Chase mansion became the mecca of social Washington – particularly among those who were not thrilled with Lincoln.
When Kate married in 1863, the Lincolns of course were invited. The groom was William Sprague, a nasty drinker, philanderer and “political general” by way of being the Governor of Rhode Island. But Sprague had an immense fortune, and the Chase funds were running low. Kate Chase Sprague was willing to barter her marital happiness (and she would be very unhappy) for the Sprague infusion of money for her father’s presidential ambitions.
Mary, who by that time positively loathed Kate (and the aversion was mutual), refused to attend the wedding. Lincoln went alone, pleading Mrs. Lincoln’s ubiquitous “unwellness.” Mary Lincoln had faults, but hypocrisy was not one of them. She couldn’t stand the bride, and couldn’t force the smile.
Then, of course, there was the time the Lincolns were hosting a large diplomatic dinner and Mary deliberately scratched Chase and daughter from the guest list. It created such a protocol furor that Lincoln’s secretaries had to actually have Lincoln himself override the insult and scratch their names back in.
Mary Lincoln’s True Rival Waiting in the Wings
But if the beauteous Kate was her chief rival for nearly four years, in 1864 there appeared another, even more formidable. This rival, however, was nothing like Kate Chase. She was fortyish, plain as a post, rather dumpty and unfashionable, not overly smart or politically savvy, and positively clueless that Mrs. Lincoln would even see her as a contender.
Julia Grant, mother of four like Mary, was the homey and homely wife of Ulysses Grant, now General of the Army, and next to Lincoln, the most important man in the Union. He was as unpolitically inclined as his wife, but they were both willing to learn.
The same society matrons who had incurred Mrs. Lincoln’s wrath in 1861 were quick to flock to Mrs. General Grant in 1864, and offer her that same assistance in navigating the socio-political waters of Washington. Julia was a genuinely nice lady, and was appreciative of their offer and attention – and probably realized she could use their help. She became very popular, mainly because so few (other than Mary Lincoln) saw her as a threat to anything. The Grants became the honored guests at everyone’s soirees – and they went as often as Grant was available.
The only time Mrs. Lincoln and Mrs. Grant actually spent time in each other’s company, Mrs. L. was on her absolutely worst behavior, accusing Mrs. Grant of “waiting in the wings” and wanting to be in her place. Poor Julia didn’t know what hit her. All she did know, is that she did not wish to be in Mrs. Lincoln’s company again, a situation tragically fulfilled by Lincoln’s assassination only days later.
Mary would have no more rivals. Her place as widow of our martyred president was singular and unenvied. No one wanted to be in her place ever again.
Sources:
- Clinton, Catherine - Mrs. Lincoln: A Life, 2009, HarperCollins
- DONALD, David Herbert – Lincoln, Simon and Schuster, 1995
- http://www.civilwarwomenblog.com/2007/08/kate-chase.html
- Grant, Julia - The Personal Memoirs of Julia Dent Grant (Mrs. Ulysses S. Grant) Southern Illinois University Press, 1988
Feather Schwartz Foster - Feather Schwartz Foster, author-historian. Making the First Ladies come to life.
